As we near the midterm elections, plenty of people are complaining about the constant barrage of political ads that are on TV, streaming across the internet and airing nonstop on radio (whatever that is). The political-ad complainers are legion, and they are very good at what they do, and very focused on political ads being the worst thing that has ever happened to our country.
I get it. Elections are annoying and complaining about campaign ads is both useful and, I assume, good for democracy (whatever that is).
So here’s a little blurb you’re welcome to steal and post on your social media pages. You can also recite it out loud to friends or loved ones (whatever those are) who feel overwhelmed by and singularly focused on the political scourge of political ads.
FIVE STEPS TO TUNE OUT ALL THOSE DARN POLITICAL ADS:
Gather seven black cardamon seeds, 1/2 of a cinnamon stick (organic, please), 13 cloves and as many peppercorns as you can fit in your mouth.
Use a molcajete and tejolote, the Mexican version of a mortar and pestle, to grind the spices into a fine powder.
Leave the powder in your kitchen and move to a quiet and comfortable part of your home, somewhere you won’t be interrupted.
Take five healing breaths, in through your nose and out through your mouth, and then repeat the mantra “I don’t know why I had to grind up all those spices” 20 times.
Pipe down, get off your ass, walk out the door and go vote so hard you sprain your damn finger.
Easy peasy!
You’re welcome, everybody. (And please vote.)
