The Nov. 3 midterm elections are upon us, and I could think of little that would be helpful. So I wrote the following incantation that everyone is free to recite, over and over and over again, as we await results and see what our nation’s future holds.

Please light incense or candles, keep your voice monotone and, ideally, chant in groups. Proceed:

I’m voting hard, I’m voting well,
I have my picks, to stop this hell.
I know not how these things will go,
I’m sure results will come in slow.

I may not sleep, I may not dream,
I may drown sorrows in ice cream.
I wish the world had fewer dopes,
I hope we vote out all the mopes.

I’m voting hard, I’m voting well,
I have my picks, to stop this hell,
But doubt creeps in, all is not swell,
I wish I lived inside a shell,
A humble mollusk or gastropod,
Or hermit crab with sweet dad bod,
Or maybe in a forest tree,
Far from the loony folks I see.

I’m voting hard, I’m voting good,
I hope this goes the way it should.
If it does not…

Well, that’ll kind of break the whole rhyming scheme, if I’m being honest.

…So till we know, let’s keep the faith,
And cast away the failure wraith.
Let’s vote and vote and vote some more,
Let’s kick these dingbats out the door.

And if it works, eat ice cream more,
And then collapse upon the floor.

Amen.

(A quick note to readers: Thanks to an email from an astute subscriber, I realized I didn’t have the comments section turned on in most of the Quick Distractions posts. That has been remedied, and you can now comment to your heart’s delight. I hope you do!)

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